snow falling on a summer day

seven years ago, on a winter day,
you told me that the garden existed.
we drew pictures, and gave these flowers
a variety of colors and names,
and you gave me real seeds, hoping that
they will be of good use.
many times i sleep,
i dream of the fragrance of the moment which
the garden was born in my heart,
seven years ago.
as i look back,
i see a path strewn with these seeds.
even though the road is not quite straight,
i still feel the shape of the garden,
guiding and teaching me.
here i am reminiscing on a summer day,
but for one moment
i see snow falling just outside my window.

where is the recipe?

i want to go into a make believe world
make my own slurpee drinks
and create my own cheery pies
bake a cake that doesn't taste quite right,
together with other culinary adventures
so that my hunger for the unknown
is satisfied
and my thirst for colours
is quenched
then i will feel happy,
like a 5 year old
and whether it is winter, summer
or any changing season,
this world remains as it is .

"keep walking.."

i would prefer walking in circles or spirals , than to walk in a straight line to reach a certain destination....i have a feeling that by doing the former, it would feel a little more effortless and magical.

i am not sure whether life in singapore these 2 years and a half have been circular, but certainly it has brought me a step closer to a place in my heart, germany. i will be leaving for Deutschland this coming October, for a good few years. Many times, things that stem from the heart are not entirely rational, so it is hard to answer the question fully , " why germany ?" By going there, and experiencing the story for myself, i will probably be able to understand the rationale behind it. i already know of a few good reasons, but i am looking forward to see , what this step will do to my existence, say 2 - 3 years from now.

yesterday i was talking to a friend who majored in philosophy. he said that his dad forced him into it, and he was glad that he completed the degree. in two days, he will start work in a well paid corporate job. he said that when he was back in school at california , he saw "spirals" behind the eyes of some lecturers inside the philosophy departments. he did not mean it in a positive way, but he meant to say there were some kind of ongoing confusion etc. well, i am sure not everyone who teaches philosophy in a university is like that, but i guess because he personally didn't like the department's atmosphere so much and that's why he saw what he saw. as for me , i do admire people with a philo major ;)

so when i mean going through life in spirals, i hope they would be some kind of positive ones, like the spirals that lead you to somewhere happy, somewhere free, not somewhere dark and despairing, like to the place of no return.

i know of a few people who are having new phases in their lives. i received an email from a dear friend one hour ago and he told me he was going back to school for masters in literature and creative writing after about 10 or more years spent in the workforce. i am very happy for him.
we all take different directions, but whatever it is, having a new chapter always evokes a pleasant feeling for me.

i chanced upon this one of the few online poems about the earthquake in Sichuan...




去天堂的路
The Road to Heaven

孩子，快
Child, hurry
抓紧妈妈的手
Seize mother's hand
去天堂的路太黑了
The road to heaven is very dark
妈妈怕你碰了头
Mother is afraid that your head is knocked
快，抓紧妈妈的手
Hurry, seize mother's hand
让妈妈陪你走
Let mother accompany you to walk
妈妈，怕
Mother, afraid
天堂的路确实太黑
Actually the road to heaven is very dark
我看不见你的手
I can not see your hand
倒塌的墙把阳光夺走
The collapsed wall snatch sun
我再也看不见
I never see it again
你柔情的眼眸
Your soft expression in your eye
孩子，你走吧
Child, you go ahead
前面的路
The road ahead
再也没有忧愁
It never has unhappiness again
没有读不完书
It never has endless study
和爸爸的拳头
And your father's fist
但孩子，你要记住
But child, you have to remember
我和爸爸的摸样
My and father's appearance
来生还要一起走
Also want to walk with you in next life
妈妈，别担忧
Mother, don't worry
天堂的路虽然有些拥挤
Although the road to heave is a lot crowd
但这里有很多的同学和朋友
But here there are many classmates and friends
每一个妈妈，都是我们的妈妈
Every mother, who is our mother as well
每一个孩子，都是妈妈的孩子
Every child, who is our baby as well
没有我的日子
The day without me
妈妈，你把爱给其他许许多多活着的孩子吧
Mother, You give your love to many alive child
我会记住你和爸爸的模样
I remember the appearance of mother and father
来生我们还要一起走！
We also want to walk together in next life

flying again

so next week, i will be off travelling to Germany for about 3 weeks, to do some exams in schools ...

i guess i am also looking forward to the few hours stop over in amsterdam.

other than that, i don't really know what to expect, especially when i haven't really taken care of the accomodation yet. the prayer i have is that God will watch over me, and create me a path of protected and blessed unpreditability
and memorable encounters and tales...

playing with montage

i saw the ocean, and the objects and words came into being, mysteriously...

what's up

nowadays, it is a little harder to be honest in the way i write, especially to the outside world. that is not a good sign, because i assume that what makes us read, or at least, what makes me want to read another person's thoughts, is honesty, even if the contents can be shocking( to some ) or surprising .

but i feel i may not be that bold as yet. it is okay, one day( soon enough i hope) i will find back that boldness. deep within me, there are certain thoughts i am intimate with, thoughts that want to battle the people or things that oppress, whether intentionally or inadvertently, thoughts that want to change certain things, thoughts that say " i have had enough!"...

or maybe because i haven't found the right language to communicate the emotion within me, the emotion that wants to break free, the emotion that makes me a stranger to some.
music speaks in a different way. images can communicate the abstract nature of such things. but oh my God, words can be very effective if written or said the right way. but what is the right way? i will find out along the way...

anyway, today i re discovered the beauty of just having pure joy in Christ. looking back at the past, it was such a joy that transcended puzzles, difficulties or dark alleyways. it is a joy that tells me if i don't have an answer now, i will certainly have it later. it is the Hope in the unseen, especially when life sometimes brings you into an unpredictable adventure. or maybe i am fantasizing too much because i am reading now the first book of the Lord of the Rings, and as the hobbits go to where it is more dangerous, darker and uncertain, i feel as if i am following them.

"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost." -

J.R.R Tolkien

their magical world

The color of freedom is light blue,
when it touches the sky
or the sea,
it blends in like it always
belongs there
like a child who is in love
with his own home.
The color of freedom is light blue,
when it engages with red,
yellow and purple,
it gives them a light friendly touch
telling them that they are beautiful
as they are
but it is happy remaining as it is.
The color of freedom is light blue,
and as it travels into the unknown
encountering dangers and risks
of all kinds,
it knows that it can always
hide in the safety of its own hue.

The color of freedom is light blue

ubud, bali

the street leading to our accomodation


















among the places we visited were the rice fields.it felt nice to be close to the mud, the water, and the color green that surrounded me. i can't help but also imagine how taking a mud bath can be therapeutic...

Christmas last year , i was in agra, india.this year, we are celebrating it in bali, indonesia. steve from michigan is coming to town and we will visit the country this coming thursday for the first time. i heard from most that it is a beautiful place.
i hope you guys have fun at whichever part of the world during this season and getting ready for the year 2008 filled with new beginnings !
i just finished my german certificate exam for B 1 level last saturday. right after, a good friend ken gave me a nice german bible as a christmas gift with some german words on a card. after 2 years of learning, i am glad i am able to understand some of it!

here goes,

Dass deine zwei Welten sich endlich zu einer einzigen vereinen und dass diese Welt so wunderschön ist, dass alle- Du, ich , deine Freunde und alle anderen um dich herum-nicht anders können, als ein Teil davon sein zu wollen. Wenn Menschen dich betrüben, vergesse nie wessen Kind du bist. Jesus ist in dir, die Hoffnung seines Ruhms.

then, it was translated into English within the same card,

I wish for you is this: May your two worlds finally become one, and this one will be so beautiful that everyone - you, me, your friends and society at large can't help but want part of. When people get you down, don't ever forget whose child you are. Jesus in you, the hope of glory.

a quick question

We arrive with this game,
where the squares on the chess board
become circles and
the pieces fade into nothingess
and all that is left is
the unseen.
That is when we decide
whether the game
continues,
or ends.

why not

today we had to draw some boxes, mixing colors with dark blue and brown, and then i thought how wonderful it would be
if what we paint from our minds
becomes real in life, and then happiness comes from there, like a river.
what about the postman that comes to our place delivering us these letters, and the doves who come to us with love notes, telling us
that the trees are smiling and the kids with the balloons are dreaming of a future, filled with honey and wafers? that is when we go back to a fairy tale, where we fall in love with some eyes and the obsession with the color blue begins.
when the obsession ends, you have to let me know.
there was a fish in the water telling me that he found a secret but he needed to get out of water in order to show me. i wouldn't let him leave his comfort zone. maybe one day, i told him, i will find it myself , back in the ocean again, where it actually belongs.

the beat

I have always admired dancers, maybe because they are able to communicate feelings just through the body and the touch. The 2 recent parties that I went to were at Double O and Cubra Libra.
At Double O a guy taught me how to dance with him. At first, he was not satisfied because when i moved my body, my heart and feelings were not in it. He could sense it immediately. He asked me to loosen up the self. And I did.
I allowed my feelings to move along with his hands and body, including the music. In less than no time, our communication took off.
At Cuba Libra, where everyone was dancing to Latin American music, i had a conversation with a girl who told me that she used to have a dance teacher who did not express much verbally, but spoke volumes every moment she demonstrated with her body gestures . Instead of listening to her , students could feel her dance, her soul.
Then I thought about my own imaginary dance with Jesus. That is what I romanticize occasionally. In order for me to improve my dance with Him, i need to feel what i believe, in spite of circumstances. Yes, i believe, but i need to feel it with my heart, then i can tango with HIm, enjoy our secret language, and get closer to His rhythm and style.

then i feel two verses floating in the afternoon air ,
,
"it is for freedom that Christ as set us free" Galatians 5: 1

"if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free." john 8: 36

yea free to dance too !

hey i just saw an alleyway. i am think of going further. Before that however , i would like to share with you glimpses of it.

so this is me dreaming by the sea , spending the last day of my travel, in halong bay, vietnam. In that dream, i would like to bring u to some other moments spent before that, in bangkok, cambodia and parts of vietnam.


street market in bangkok

yoshi, an aspiring chef

ankor wat, cambodia

ankor wat

ankor wat

hoi an , vietnam

a friendly girl in hoi an

man in hanoi

hanoi

water puppets, hanoi

last but not least, yoshi and paola , my two lovely friends i was travelling with

the truth is that once i start travelling, i can't stop. the craving never ends; the craving for new stories and sights, encounters with a variety of backpackers and having great conversations.
Vietnam was my favorite among the three countries. the people are beautiful. the language is soothing to the ears as well. french influence in architecture and environment definitely played a big part in contributing to the sense of beauty. i also cannot forget a 20 hour train ride i had when i was bunking in with a vietnamese family who made me felt at home with them.