Tuesday, June 28, 2005


yesterday, it was vivien's birthday. she invited some of us to the arbor brewing company, a pub in downtown ann arbor, for a few drinks. i had just one glass of white russian. surprisingly, this time round, i didn't get my giggling fits. maybe my tolerance had increased?
after that, we headed over to Necto, a dance club a few blocks away. there was an anniversary and therefore no entrance fee.
it felt so much like a goth party or maybe it was one? almost everyone was dressed like a goth. i had seen a small group of them hanging out at the cafeteria of my school, but it was really odd to be surrounded by so many of them in Necto.i was suddenly in another world, another culture. they remained strange to me because i had never got a chance to communicate with any one of them. it is my last month in ann arbor, and i have been here for approximately 5-6 years . therefore, i am happy that i still get to see new things. maybe if i pay more attention, i will get to see more.
when we got home, daniel, vivien's childhood friend, plucked some mulberries from the trees next to the parking lot of the coop. they tasted good. it was a sweet way to end the birthday celebration for vivien.

today, i went to watch a performance put up by Andre Meyers and his friends. Andre is a composer who lives here in the coop for the summer. one piece was composed for the soprano and the piano.they were moon songs, and andre drew inspirations from various elements, including japanese poetry about the moon, and long walks in the arboretum, one of ann arbor's beautiful parks. he also composed another piece for the cello and piano. this was inspired by the dessert andre had in one of his favourite restaurants. i was certainly impressed that he was capable of creating such moving and sophisticated music inspired by (at times simple ) elements in our daily existence.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

dreams, laughter and games

two weeks ago, i had a dream about people chasing me and another guy. sometimes, i was in the identity of this guy and other times, i was separate from him. there were also moments when i was merely the observer.we merged and separated sporadically. the setting was in an old, ancient chinese society. everything around looked traditional. we started off running in ancient chinese costumes, and those people chasing us were soldiers, like in armor or something like that. after running for some time, i remember arriving all of a sudden at a contemporary society, where everyone was in modern clothing, like what we have around us today. we quickly changed into modern clothes in order to blend with the surroundings and hide from the ancient chinese soldiers pursuing us. i remember going round and round the ceiling of a very dark room, and then we heard the troops approaching. those guys were still in their traditional uniforms. their presence became rather amorphous, but still very intimidating.it was an awful feeling. the dream ended without any concrete outcome. all i experienced was the perpetual feeling of being pursued by those ancient chinese soldiers.

and then i had one of the scariest dreams two nights ago. i dreamt that some group of people were trying to kill me, because of something i was tricked into doing. i can't exactly remember what. i also remember that i was not the only one who was deceived into doing this thing. other people who fell into the trap were also in the list of those who had to be killed. i was trying to convince myself in the dream that death was not something i should be afraid of but i don't think i succeeded assuring myself of that.

this week, seiko and i are going to work on an approximately 2 minute video about FOOD; about our feelings, thoughts, impressions, experience of american, japanese and singaporean food. will there be interesting things to say and portray about food? i hope so.

i read katie beth's blog about her experiences in the coop she had yesterday. it is so funny. she has such a refreshing view of things here. i am glad that she had a good time laughing with the people at the dinner table .check it out at http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=jinganlin

on sunday, some of us went to a place called Bird park to play a game. we had to tag other people with tennis balls. it was a simple game, but it was a lot of fun. i think it's because the park provided us with pretty interesting trails. to me, the trees were exceptionally tall, and there were long periods of time when each of us had to walk and wander alone before we encountered another person from the group. the atmosphere was both peaceful and mysterious at the same time. i think it's an awesome place for extended solitary walks. i want to go there again, on my bike!

" To be aware that waking dreams it is not asleep
While it is another dream, and that the death
that our flesh goes in fear of is that death
Which comes every night and is called sleep."
- from the poem " Ars Poetica"by Borges

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

i reserved a ticket back home to singapore. i am still making decisions about the date. i want to be on the plane again, flying into an unknown future. i have been away from home for so long. the current impressions i have of my parents and sister are those i get from emails, brief phone calls and greeting cards. i don't know how it will really feel like to talk and hang out with them in person, and to live with them again.

i am also thinking about the secrets in my heart. i think it's quite fun to confide only in Him about certain things. there's this novel and comfortable sense of intimacy that i experience, when it feels that only He knows the stories. i mean, of course, i confide in my close friends concerns and joys that are very personal to me, but it feels nice to have this little secret place merely with Him.