Friday, December 04, 2009

what makes me happy?


cooking food that i like, cooking for others, drinking my first cup of strong coffee in the morning, blowing bubbles, and looking at them, playing and listening to music, painting with oil colors, gazing at somebody you adore, playing with children and friendly dogs, laughing, springtime, anticipating a white christmas, making things out of clay, exploring a place i have never seen before, going to Berlin, taking train rides in germany, making art n not really caring whether it is perfect or not, dreaming colorful
dreams, and above all, being a "prisoner of hope ".


i hope some of these things make you happy too .

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

my blue room

i lived for one year here in jahnstra├če braunschweig, germany. ever since then , i have moved. this is just a memory of my apartment. the color i can think of is an ethereal blue.


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Behind the trees

we all have private thoughts both to ourselves, and to others. we don't talk too much about them, in parties. we talk about them-behind the trees.


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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

i the dreamer


this morning , before i woke up , i experienced some very intense dreams. it was like one series after another. i wish i could remember what they were. my friend is used to writing down dreams.
i wonder if i should. i believe in dreams quite a bit. dreams can guide us. for example, i have been guided by dreams in some difficult decision making in my art school. it was like bread crumbs... thrown from heaven, and we just pick them up...in the woods...
joseph, one of my favorite character in the bible, was intimately connected with his dreams. he never saw them as trivial or foolish ......
dreams can smoothen out the path ahead of us. but there are also the ones that confuse me. i try not to think about them. i guess one comes to the point where one knows how to organize, interpret fairly, whether some are useful in daily life and others are not...
the process continues...
overall, having a nice dream is always lovely.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Bubble moments


sometimes, it is hard to create something out of almost nothing. but i guess that is what i have to do, in my work now, and in the future, in art . well, i guess we do not necessarily create things from nothing. there are always influences from artists we like and who inspire us , and there are memories, feelings, emotions and thoughts. these things are not" nothing". but still, the process of creation, most of the time begins with an empty canvas.

the next thing i hope to work on is the theme of transition. life is made up of many transitory moments. very good moments are temporary. i mean, we can have many good moments in life, but they shortly become memories. it is a like a bubble . we see a cute little bubble hovering in front of us, then it vanishes into thin air.
one specific moment can contain very intense feelings, very emotional train of thoughts. when i am in long train rides here in germany, i find myself trying to grasp these moments, to want to contain them in a bottle because they mean so much to me. i find it a very elusive activity. it makes me question, what is the meaning, of creating these moments in our lives, and do they truly add up to something, like a bigger picture, whether it be in friendship, art work, making music, cooking, partying etc. or maybe, what counts most, is the moment itself. it has no past, no future. i don,t know the answer really. but i do believe in a God, and He is in the moment. i guess that is what gives it some touch of eternity, a touch of ethereal color.

whatever it is, the moment can be intense, on one hand, and extremely fragile, like a bubble, on the other. it is about transition. we run through life, going from place to another, like a traveller, appreciating these bubble moments.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

racing heart beat

i am doing some pencil drawings now...to get some kind of direction. i am trying to make pictures of certain creatures....that look innocent yet peculiar and odd....ok something like aliens.

hoping at the same time, these lines will carry my thoughts to a neat place......

i will let u know...maybe later...whether i have indeed arrived there. to tell u the truth, i am craving it every moment . my face/ my countenance is altogether calm. nobody can tell. but my heart is beating fast.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

thoughts from the night

hello there...it has been quite a while since i visited my own blog and spend time writing down thoughts. i guess, now that i have internet access at home it makes it easier. it is now 3.13 am, and the night seems to be the best time, to write. after such a long pause, there is no compelling feeling to write about anything in particular. quite a number of things have happened, this past year ( almost !). there are several changes in my heart, in the way i look at things and there are still questions, unanswered ones, running in my mind. i mean, i still feel peaceful, with all these questions still existing, so i guess that is good. Peace from God, in spite of unanswered questions. Germany offers me to live life anew, in some ways. i mean, i truly appreciate my life before germany, but somehow, i feel a kind of "newness" here, in this new space. it has been about a year, and i was planting seeds, hoping they will become flowers....

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

a little update


the art school that i go to




the place that i live


been quite a while since the last time i wrote here. well, big reason is that there hasn,t been internet connection at home, and there still isn,t!
it,s been about three months in germany, and everything is going well. i live in an apartment with a german roomate/classmate ,Nina Peter, from hannover , who hasn,t reall moved in yet. this apartment also uses coal heating ( not electric central heating that i am used to ). i am still getting used to loading the oven daily, with lots of coal and wood. i have an interesting neighbour named Claudio, who only started painting when he was about 27 in this art school and now he is 32. He just sold two of his paintings last month. it is quite amazing that painting is now his central passion, and lifestyle, especially when he had never really done it before the time he first began in his late twenties. he has a big dark cat, who roams around the apartment stairways, and sometimes tries to slip into my house when i am not careful. directy below me is a huge italian family. right above, is Frank, who is a high school teacher, and who loves making things with wood. other than that, i don,t really know other neighbours very well.
almost every friday or saturday, i go out dancing. i feel that the music here is pretty good ! if time allows, i might also take long term salsa lessons. i am also appreciating german beer more and more. with wine, i am still not so good.

two days ago, it snowed heavily, like never before since i came here to Germany. when i came back really late that snowy night, somebody had made and left an adorable snowman on my bike and i had to make a picture, even though it turned out blurry and a little surreal.
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classes in the art school resume next week.