Thursday, March 31, 2005

i am so happy that my i book is working again. it's okay to use other computers, whether they be in the coop or in the media union. but nothing beats the intimate connection i feel towards my i book that has been with me for 3 years.

yesterday, two girls told me they were feeling sad and why they were feeling this way. i wish i could help them, but realized that i had no great advice. the best thing i could do was listen to their troubled thoughts. during the times when i was feeling helpless, all i needed was somebody to listen to me, without judgment. it's okay if they didn't have answers, but i felt good and relieved just being able express the burdens in my heart.

tomorrow evening, i will be watching " the motorcycles diary" with jeff evans. i heard from some coopers that it's a really good movie. i imagine it's a story that would make me want to take off and go travelling for a very long time. we shall see.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

You make me just so happy, to be here.
To breathe with You every single day,
is a secret joy shared between us.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

NgJifji-R1-034-15Asurely there is a way, a possibility out of this.let's go further.......


Monday, March 21, 2005

dear God, please help me deal with my addictions. thank you. i think i am struggling again. hopefully, i can overcome this one with Him. sometimes, it is just so very difficult to exercise the right choice.there always lies this conflict, between reason and what we feel.

the dark elusive shadow has returned to haunt my imagination again. i thought it was a thing of the past. i am surprised that i still like it very much. i am confused. but i don't want it to stay. i would like it to go away. i would like to be free.

Friday, March 18, 2005

on the night of st patrick's day ( thursday),i drank just a bit. however, i got very buzzed and made some of them laugh. well, i normally don't celebrate st patrick's day but i happened to be invited to a farewell party for nobu in somebody's apartment. we went home in the bus and most of the UM students in it were drunk, singing like very happy people.

it's the ann arbor film festive going on. this afternoon, i went with nobu and steve to watch a 88 min film done by a guy who documented his traumatic and difficult growing up experiences. it was both poignant and disturbing at the same time. i didn't cry, but i was very saddened by how life could turn out for some was kind of a relief being able to watch the film maker himself standing up on the podium after the film was over doing the Q and A sessions with the audience.i couldn't help but think about his brain damaged mother and his messed up grandparents that were portrayed in the movie. the film director doesn't seem like a very happy man to me, but i certainly think that he is a very strong, highly intelligent and sensitive soul who is able to deal with challenging and bizarre circumstances in a creative and interesting way.

it's easter sunday next week. i am getting baptized,for the first time. i wish that my parents and lovely sister could be here in ann arbor.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature. ~ St. Augustine

Friday, March 11, 2005

thursday. no class.
in the evening, i went with a few friends to watch poetry slam for the first time in my life.a co-oper is a slam poet and encourages me to was held in the UM museum of art. sometimes, you can also have it in bars or informal places.

today, i had melted cheese and salami on toasted bread. i got addicted. i had 4 in the afternoon. at 11pm, i got hungry again and ate another 4 of them. i feel like eating more melted cheese now...but i don't think i should. it's now 3.19 am in the morning.i will do it when i wake up tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

i would like to take a break from dreaming

hello. i had two odd dreams for the past two nights, consecutively. a good friend of mine appeared in the first one. he happened to be one of the leaders in some sort of a "revolution". i was one of the captives. he was leading some of us prisoners to another cell, or some enclosed space like that. all the time, he was smiling at me, thinking that he was my friend and that he was doing the right thing in his role as a leader. i remembered starting to shout at him as i was being led. i accused him of allowing those ideas to deceive him, leading him to such actions. he was still convinced that he was doing things right,for the common good.
(in real life, he is a very nice friend who is kind and intelligent.)
in the second dream( which occured last night), the contents had to do with some kind of revolution going on as well.i was not captured but just running around aimlessly and anxiously, in the midst of a chaotic and confusing scene. then i met someone i knew from the coop who was with two asian girls ( whom i have never met). they were clad in some army- green uniforms. i can't remember what we said to each other. in this episode however, they appeared relaxed and were rather friendly with me.

in REALITY, this morning, my dad called at 7.30 am. i went back to bed a few minutes after. then, i had another dream of him calling me at 10am. in the dream, he said,
" how come you are still in bed at 10 am !!! is that how life in USA is like? you should come back to singapore now!" then i started arguing with him and cried a little.
pretty absurd dream, but nothing as odd as the two dreams about some sort of a revolution going on.( in real life, my dad is an extremely nice,kind and generous guy. he will never say things like that.)

Saturday, March 05, 2005

images-5we went crazy this evening. we played ping pong starting from 9.30pm. couldn't stop. just ended at 1.30 am half an hour ago.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

fragments from spring break

ping pong is getting a little too addictive nowadays.

hopefully there's no snowing tomorrow. then i can head out and take pictures.

my small group's name is mosaic. yesterday, we shared openly and prayed for each other instead of having our regular bible study. my small group leader, john yi, has gotten engaged recently and will get married this june! he told us his story yesterday about how he had proposed to his girlfriend in new jersey recently. (rather touching and humorous at the same time.) two more couples from our group are also busy with their wedding plans.

i did some cross contour pencil drawing just now for my class. at first, i had a hard time drawing my hand. but then, it got a little better and i progressed to drawing a wine bottle, a hair dryer and the cute snoopy dog in my room. it's nice expressing my feelings with just lines; the faded, and the darker ones.