nowadays, it is a little harder to be honest in the way i write, especially to the outside world. that is not a good sign, because i assume that what makes us read, or at least, what makes me want to read another person's thoughts, is honesty, even if the contents can be shocking( to some ) or surprising .
but i feel i may not be that bold as yet. it is okay, one day( soon enough i hope) i will find back that boldness. deep within me, there are certain thoughts i am intimate with, thoughts that want to battle the people or things that oppress, whether intentionally or inadvertently, thoughts that want to change certain things, thoughts that say " i have had enough!"...
or maybe because i haven't found the right language to communicate the emotion within me, the emotion that wants to break free, the emotion that makes me a stranger to some.
music speaks in a different way. images can communicate the abstract nature of such things. but oh my God, words can be very effective if written or said the right way. but what is the right way? i will find out along the way...
anyway, today i re discovered the beauty of just having pure joy in Christ. looking back at the past, it was such a joy that transcended puzzles, difficulties or dark alleyways. it is a joy that tells me if i don't have an answer now, i will certainly have it later. it is the Hope in the unseen, especially when life sometimes brings you into an unpredictable adventure. or maybe i am fantasizing too much because i am reading now the first book of the Lord of the Rings, and as the hobbits go to where it is more dangerous, darker and uncertain, i feel as if i am following them.
