life beyond the circus

there is an existence, where
our roles are being turned upside
down, where our voices become
the other, where the usual ways of seeing
become inverted, as if it makes
no sense,
and freedom becomes the way, of love,
of infinity,
as if we have lost touch with the reality
we grew up with,
and become part of a fantasy that
seems so surreal, so strange,
but yet so
compelling.

fire

the fire is in the distance,
shapeless and formless,
but i can feel it in my mind and heart,
as if i am drawing closer,
to the warmth, the blaze,
even though
i cannot really figure out
how far away i am still,
from the desired hill,
the desired promise
of honey.

exit from a dream

there lies a pattern in my dreams,
with a rhythm that is improvised,
free,
with the color red, like blood,
filling the sky,
till it warms the whole earth,
like a big candle among the stars,
showing me the way around,
through the wilderness, the alleyways,
the deserts,
till i make an exit
from my dreams,
and see a reality
in a new land.

empty space

there is a certain
mystery to this empty space,
filled with an overwhelming sadness
that has no answers,
but a beauty that transcends
colors, language, and thoughts,
a beauty as wide as
the desert,
and as elusive as
a floating cloud.

abandoning the other

there is a desire to run away,
to play in the fields like a child,
abandoning all adult emotions,
all nervousness and complexity,
the questions that have no quick answers,
to keep running, and sees no end
to a beautiful journey,
covered with trees, littered with red berries,
and to find
you,
in the midst of it all.

A red balloon lands itself
in front of the mirror,
and sees beyond
its identity
a land waiting
to be explored,
it goes running
in a circle ,
day and night ,
until it becomes
pure bubbles,
free in its
movement.

winds in the desert

a voice from the wild
follows my path, to the
outside world, and back again,
like winds in the desert.
it has no shape or color,
but a vapor that touches
my heart in a light blue way,
causing me to sing a song
that has no end,
a song that has no tale,
until i look behind me
and my footsteps
vanish and become
again, the winds in the desert.

favorite numbers

i haven,t really been thinking about the significance of numbers until recently. i won about 28 Euros at lottery last week. i felt happy because you know, it was my first time buying lottery ( just for about 3 euros ). i bought it with a friend, thinking we would try it for the first time in our lives, just for fun.
so i was pleasantly surprised to receive this money. it was not too much, but enough to last me for about 2 days here in germany. i am not going to have buying lottery as my lifestyle/hobby/ or addiction, but a spontaneous act in our lives can sometimes surprise us.

i remembered, i was using many Sevens, when i wrote those random numbers down on the lottery paper.. i am not saying that seven is a lucky number but i am saying it just happened that this time round , the results showed many sevens and numbers that have sevens in it.

that was when i started thinking about numbers in my life. i really like 5 and 7 . from a biblical point of view, 7 is a number of completion and perfection. there is a mystery about 7 that makes me feel at rest. the number reminds us that we have got to rest, and not allow the burdens and responsibilities in our lives to distract us. God rests on the seventh day. there is the sabbath. but i think it is not a rigid rule to rest. however, it does our souls, and bodies good when we merely rest inwardly. Religion tells us that we need to do lots , in order to earn credits from God. However, Christ has finished the work, 2000 years ago.There is nothing we can do to earn anything.

Hebrews 4 from the bible , verse10, says " for all who enter into God's rest wll find rest from their labors, just as God rested after creating the world." Besides dreaming, which i talked about it in my last entry, the land of rest is also a beautiful place.

potato chips

living a dream is a beautiful feeling. there are ups and downs, and difficulties, but the dream within, encourages
us to go on.
what is life without a vision, and a dream? it feels like a lost, broken record, left in a second hand store, waiting for somebody to pick it up, to restore it.
it might sound silly, to keep dreaming and living out the desires in your heart, sometimes against logic, against reason,
but i think it is all worth it eventually. i don.t know how, i don.t know when, but the obsession can never stop. once you start, u can,t stop.
it is like eating potato chips, well at least for me. what is your addiction? any food, any drinks, any activity? then add it to your dream, and let it embrace your addiction.
i still believe that God puts dreams into our hearts and allow us to create the details, the colors, the smell of them.


anyway, keep dreaming, keep eating your favorite food.