Monday, August 09, 2004
Recently, addiction is overtaking my life. When I look at my self, I marvel at how rapidly I am changing. I have read a lot about obession before and saw how powerful it can be in films, but to experience it for myself, is very different. Different, in a tormenting way. Different, in a self destructive way. I know that God is there, but you know, we are given free choice. I have chosen, more often than not nowadays, not to consult Him regarding this. The sense of alienation from truth, from the divine, is painfully felt. The thing about addiction is that you know you have fallen into it, but there is really not any strong or absolute desire to curb it. It grows on you, like wild fire. Don't worry, I am not taking drugs. However, addiction in all forms are still tormenting. All I am hoping is that......there will grow within me a desire to battle it. At the moment, I am resting and indulging in the daze of it all, where the line between dreams and reality is a blur and the menacing flame of passion continues to haunt me no end.