tiny fantasies

the wanderlust is back to haunt me a bit. I am now reading Che Guevera : a revolutionary life ( by Jon Lee Anderson) after being inspired by the movie "the motorcycle diaries". I also start thinking about Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" which i read three years ago. Thanks to them, i fantasize about being on the move again, going places, even relying on odd jobs to sustain myself. for now, i will stay in Singapore . but for a few weeks at the end of this year, when i will probably take a break from violin teaching, i want to take off travelling in Asia,encountering interesting souls along the way. I am thinking korea, india, or tibet, places i have never been. will it ever happen? we will see!

for now, i will live and exist in the world of Singapore, approaching life here as a nomad, always yearning and longing for the heavenly homeland. I don't know why, but this mindset actually allows me to enjoy life here, because every single day is like the continuation of this journey upward bound, with surprises and challenges delighting me along the way, sporadically, beautifully. it is liberating,
I remember C'S lewis saying that if we aim at heaven, we will have earth thrown in. i don't remember the exact words though. Nevertheless, this approach also frees me from the rules and legalistic mindsets that used to stifle me in the past.

it is a different experience from many years back, when a significant chunk of my memories in Singapore was mired in depression, helplessness and endless worries, and when the perpetual feeling of never having a sense of belonging plagued me.

when God promises His children double restoration for all the things they have lost, He really surprises us no end.