" untitled "

in love with the mystery of connection,
in a desert,
waiting and expecting,
a miracle, a flower,
love and music combined,
to form a new jazz,
a new movement,
before the night falls,
and another
new day begins.


" the magic of breathing"

the color deepens , in intensity,
a syncopated mix
of blue, green and purple,
as if one is drinking
milk and honey,
as if one is consumed
by the ecstasy of
existence, the magic
of breathing .

a pattern emerges, after 3 years of being
in a foreign land,
a pattern of colors, words, and a
a pattern of happiness.
sometimes improvised,
sometimes constant,
i look for the objects, the images,
the eyes of people,
so that i can record and remember
the treasure
that never changes.

sketches of the moment

dreamless

a dreamless night
is a mere pause
to a spectacular,
detailed,
compelling dream.
Eyes closed,
perceptions soar,
and a new world
begins.

life beyond the circus

there is an existence, where
our roles are being turned upside
down, where our voices become
the other, where the usual ways of seeing
become inverted, as if it makes
no sense,
and freedom becomes the way, of love,
of infinity,
as if we have lost touch with the reality
we grew up with,
and become part of a fantasy that
seems so surreal, so strange,
but yet so
compelling.

fire

the fire is in the distance,
shapeless and formless,
but i can feel it in my mind and heart,
as if i am drawing closer,
to the warmth, the blaze,
even though
i cannot really figure out
how far away i am still,
from the desired hill,
the desired promise
of honey.

exit from a dream

there lies a pattern in my dreams,
with a rhythm that is improvised,
free,
with the color red, like blood,
filling the sky,
till it warms the whole earth,
like a big candle among the stars,
showing me the way around,
through the wilderness, the alleyways,
the deserts,
till i make an exit
from my dreams,
and see a reality
in a new land.

empty space

there is a certain
mystery to this empty space,
filled with an overwhelming sadness
that has no answers,
but a beauty that transcends
colors, language, and thoughts,
a beauty as wide as
the desert,
and as elusive as
a floating cloud.

abandoning the other

there is a desire to run away,
to play in the fields like a child,
abandoning all adult emotions,
all nervousness and complexity,
the questions that have no quick answers,
to keep running, and sees no end
to a beautiful journey,
covered with trees, littered with red berries,
and to find
you,
in the midst of it all.

A red balloon lands itself
in front of the mirror,
and sees beyond
its identity
a land waiting
to be explored,
it goes running
in a circle ,
day and night ,
until it becomes
pure bubbles,
free in its
movement.

winds in the desert

a voice from the wild
follows my path, to the
outside world, and back again,
like winds in the desert.
it has no shape or color,
but a vapor that touches
my heart in a light blue way,
causing me to sing a song
that has no end,
a song that has no tale,
until i look behind me
and my footsteps
vanish and become
again, the winds in the desert.

favorite numbers

i haven,t really been thinking about the significance of numbers until recently. i won about 28 Euros at lottery last week. i felt happy because you know, it was my first time buying lottery ( just for about 3 euros ). i bought it with a friend, thinking we would try it for the first time in our lives, just for fun.
so i was pleasantly surprised to receive this money. it was not too much, but enough to last me for about 2 days here in germany. i am not going to have buying lottery as my lifestyle/hobby/ or addiction, but a spontaneous act in our lives can sometimes surprise us.

i remembered, i was using many Sevens, when i wrote those random numbers down on the lottery paper.. i am not saying that seven is a lucky number but i am saying it just happened that this time round , the results showed many sevens and numbers that have sevens in it.

that was when i started thinking about numbers in my life. i really like 5 and 7 . from a biblical point of view, 7 is a number of completion and perfection. there is a mystery about 7 that makes me feel at rest. the number reminds us that we have got to rest, and not allow the burdens and responsibilities in our lives to distract us. God rests on the seventh day. there is the sabbath. but i think it is not a rigid rule to rest. however, it does our souls, and bodies good when we merely rest inwardly. Religion tells us that we need to do lots , in order to earn credits from God. However, Christ has finished the work, 2000 years ago.There is nothing we can do to earn anything.

Hebrews 4 from the bible , verse10, says " for all who enter into God's rest wll find rest from their labors, just as God rested after creating the world." Besides dreaming, which i talked about it in my last entry, the land of rest is also a beautiful place.

potato chips

living a dream is a beautiful feeling. there are ups and downs, and difficulties, but the dream within, encourages
us to go on.
what is life without a vision, and a dream? it feels like a lost, broken record, left in a second hand store, waiting for somebody to pick it up, to restore it.
it might sound silly, to keep dreaming and living out the desires in your heart, sometimes against logic, against reason,
but i think it is all worth it eventually. i don.t know how, i don.t know when, but the obsession can never stop. once you start, u can,t stop.
it is like eating potato chips, well at least for me. what is your addiction? any food, any drinks, any activity? then add it to your dream, and let it embrace your addiction.
i still believe that God puts dreams into our hearts and allow us to create the details, the colors, the smell of them.


anyway, keep dreaming, keep eating your favorite food.

what makes me happy?

cooking food that i like, cooking for others, drinking my first cup of strong coffee in the morning, blowing bubbles, and looking at them, playing and listening to music, painting with oil colors, gazing at somebody you adore, playing with children and friendly dogs, laughing, springtime, anticipating a white christmas, making things out of clay, exploring a place i have never seen before, going to Berlin, taking train rides in germany, making art n not really caring whether it is perfect or not, dreaming colorful
dreams, and above all, being a "prisoner of hope ".


i hope some of these things make you happy too .

my blue room

i lived for one year here in jahnstraße braunschweig, germany. ever since then , i have moved. this is just a memory of my apartment. the color i can think of is an ethereal blue.

Behind the trees

we all have private thoughts both to ourselves, and to others. we don't talk too much about them, in parties. we talk about them-behind the trees.

i the dreamer

this morning , before i woke up , i experienced some very intense dreams. it was like one series after another. i wish i could remember what they were. my friend is used to writing down dreams.
i wonder if i should. i believe in dreams quite a bit. dreams can guide us. for example, i have been guided by dreams in some difficult decision making in my art school. it was like bread crumbs... thrown from heaven, and we just pick them up...in the woods...
joseph, one of my favorite character in the bible, was intimately connected with his dreams. he never saw them as trivial or foolish ......
dreams can smoothen out the path ahead of us. but there are also the ones that confuse me. i try not to think about them. i guess one comes to the point where one knows how to organize, interpret fairly, whether some are useful in daily life and others are not...
the process continues...
overall, having a nice dream is always lovely.

Bubble moments

sometimes, it is hard to create something out of almost nothing. but i guess that is what i have to do, in my work now, and in the future, in art . well, i guess we do not necessarily create things from nothing. there are always influences from artists we like and who inspire us , and there are memories, feelings, emotions and thoughts. these things are not" nothing". but still, the process of creation, most of the time begins with an empty canvas.

the next thing i hope to work on is the theme of transition. life is made up of many transitory moments. very good moments are temporary. i mean, we can have many good moments in life, but they shortly become memories. it is a like a bubble . we see a cute little bubble hovering in front of us, then it vanishes into thin air.
one specific moment can contain very intense feelings, very emotional train of thoughts. when i am in long train rides here in germany, i find myself trying to grasp these moments, to want to contain them in a bottle because they mean so much to me. i find it a very elusive activity. it makes me question, what is the meaning, of creating these moments in our lives, and do they truly add up to something, like a bigger picture, whether it be in friendship, art work, making music, cooking, partying etc. or maybe, what counts most, is the moment itself. it has no past, no future. i don,t know the answer really. but i do believe in a God, and He is in the moment. i guess that is what gives it some touch of eternity, a touch of ethereal color.

whatever it is, the moment can be intense, on one hand, and extremely fragile, like a bubble, on the other. it is about transition. we run through life, going from place to another, like a traveller, appreciating these bubble moments.