last week, i felt my body and soul being sold ....to the work at eastern accent, in spite of occassional hanging out with people and times of relaxation. It felt that i was caught in a different world, where i was longing and aching to return to the current realm i am in right now, where my mind is allowed more breathing space, to entertain other thoughts and ideas. you know, it was so tiring, that all i wanted to do after work, was to rest in Mack's arms and basically, DO NOTHING. i have also been working on the second movement from Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata, the melancholic yet hopeful melody i fell in love with after watching the" Man who wasn't there." The coops was so quiet during the spring break, that the piano room in the corner of the hallway offered me some good companionship with music. While playing Bach gave me certain tranquility and placidity, the aching melody of beethoven's Pathetique aroused certain emotions that had otherwise being repressed for quite a while.It constantly makes me realize that me , as a human being, is constanly yearning for something elusive. This yearning, is part of what makes this existence so worthwhile eventually. What is life, without these desires and longings in our heart? And certainly, music is a great way, to gain access to these emotions that are otherwise sometimes inexplicable by words or images, or essentially, suppressed.
Yesterday, i got to watch the Passion of the Christ. I have pretty mixed emotions about it. Certain scenes kept replaying in my mind after the show. There's a certain degree of grief and sadness within me today, but also an inexplicable sense of hope and triumph in my heart. That was how Mel Gibson portrayed and interpreted my beloved on screen and i certainly thank the director, for his intensity, vision, creativity and courage. Oh goodness, how do i expect myself to view crucifixion the same same way that i used to?